blue tuesday --
deep deep into sexual melancholy...
christopher...
sitting here -- thinking of you -- and doing my best to pull someone -- you another guy into my bed today or my life...
manhunt- website --
i tell EVTOP
">>>look --i want to wrap my hole around your cock --
you liked to get fucked ?
you want some of my cream??
i want to get fucked and suck cock -- get over here -
i wanna feel you squirt your jizz down my throat or up my ass..."
yes -- e mail sent -
but iam thinking of you --
another coast away....
wondering what you smell like or the heaven it would be to touch your lips or put my nose -- to your armpits -- and breathe in your smell --
perhaps lay my head -- down on your hard cock --
just rest there -- and gently kiss the shaft...of what i imagine to be such a beautiful piece --
yeah
yes...thats what I'am dreaming of today---right now -- you - me --
lost forever in the bed of lust and blue and melancholy and dreams...
sweet gay -- queer dreams of you and for you --
inspiring me to write and tell my stories - as if -- yes
I'am open again to the world -- because of you --
and yes
my heart-sick -- sick-closed off pain sick -- sickness
melts away in your presence...
maybe your too wise - for me -- or too gentle -
i can not say -- 5000 miles away from me --
but id like to know -- like to feel you maybe -- grinding above me as i place my tongue to your hole and rest it there -- tasting your hole --
kinda savoring - the cheeks of your ass....
and the power and secrets of you -- but only the ones youd like me to know...
every man - all of them taste different -
act different
different chemicals of sweat and purity and light -- and need and wanting and grace and masculinity and the sun --
the night
all coming together --
and you are new -- in my thoughts -- wondering -- how fresh you would be to me -- like going on forever like the warm wet streets of a golden city -- filled with love - and green and skies and rain and fucking holding you close and just being inside you -- resting there --
knowing you -- kising you --
you showing me all the needs you have --
and i saying -- and being powerful enough to rescue you from all of them - being able to fullfill your wants and needs and waking you up in the morning with a freshly made coffee - and fucking your hole again
- and making love -- if thats what you wanted -- or massaging you -- or kissing you befor you go off to work for your day...
maybe youd give me your load down my throat in the kitchen -- before you showered -- the night sweat of your balls like a cologne i cant get enough of ....which is unique only to you -- which i would crave all my days...and think to myself after the door closed and you had gone....
that i regret the minutes when we are apart...
and that i can't wait for your return...
yes all this --
and also the dream of me falling steadfast a sleep -- while perhaps you read or watch telelvision ....
and myself like a puppy that you love and/or care for --
resting my head gently upon your stomache and looking up to you -- and you stroking my hair and i falling in to bliss...
peaceful and free and safe and warm and comfortable and protected by you and your eyes....
and the rest of my days -- it could be like that for us ...
that a dream could come true - and the tired -- insane world would leave us alone to love one another...
it could be like that -- with you christopher....
id like that --
if it could be -- everynight - dreams of love and the golden bed -- of solitude -- of peace and warmth and light and love....
yeah i wanna try again - ill be open again...
my heart can mend again...
i can forgive again....
Spring...i think has made me insane again...
i dont know...
theres a pain or a birth -- and a birth of light -- and you are in front of it -- telling me to send it out and release it to the world ...
that i did a good job and that you understand...
yeah - id hope for everything with you -- and especially that youd undestand....
that youd know my value --
that youd treasure me and i the same to you --
isnt that the best two people can have -??
that they cherish the days together and are glad
that they found one another -- ?
id like to have that -- maybe yes -- with you --
that youd understand and love me even for my horrible twists and defects...and likewise i could do the same for you --
because we agreed to stick it out and stay --
no matter what for each other --
and i think -- i know you would --
my wish -- for you --for me
for us --
that you claim me as yours and yours alone -- and
that i may do the same with you and for you --
that i become yours - only --
and that you know this to be true -- and our truth -
together -- that i look into your eyes and feel security and warmth --
the warmth of your kindess and knowing...and i promise to give you the same -- always -- i promise that -- i swear that --
that there is no doubt that iam the guy for you and there really could never be another one in this lifetime --
and i the same to you and for you -- bound by an oath -- privately and publicly -- swearing and knowing to melt into one another alone at the end of the day...
yes one yet seperate....
one as a team and partners - yet having indivual identites and lives --
and I'd support you in whatever your hopes and dreams and desires are --
even if they are to perhaps explore another guy --
i think id feel safe to let you do that as long as you came back to me --
perhaps renewed and reassured - then that would be fine --
i could agree to that - i would never want you to be or feel trapped --
quite the opposite -- id want you to feel free --
safe -- together but independant to do what you need to do--
yeah -- its something like that -- thats my idea -- that at night i know id get into bed and commit the most sacred act -- i could -- laying down and falling a sleep into your arms -- or you into mine....
resting -- together -- in safety --
yeah -- like that --
heat and warmth -- all for you -- into you as you read this -- let my words be something good to you -- for you -- for hope and light -- this is my wish for you today...
i rise to the mount olympus -- and ask zues to bless us - and our union....
forever in peace and love --
i'll claim you - say the word - >>>>
but you likewise have to claim me -
yes --??
love always
Sean...
